Not-Quite Comics

2/21/25 Sketch journal page

One of many small but necessary tasks related to moving my studio from upstairs to downstairs is that all the bookcases will need to be braced to the wall studs again (yes, we have to do that here in earthquake country). Greg did it himself decades ago for all my bookcases. I don’t remember anything about it because it was just one of those things he automatically took care of: Just one of many, many things I took for granted when he lived here.

Now that the bookcases occupy my new studio (the furniture move was completed yesterday! More on that soon), I’ve hired a handyman to take care of that and several other tasks. Most of the braces will be reused, but I needed an additional set. I went to the hardware store to get more like the ones Greg had installed previously. Ace offered several “kits” that cost quite a bit more, but the staff member who helped me said that they were easier to install. I was confident the handyman would know how to install the basic L-shaped braces that Greg had put in . . . but then I had doubts that I was getting the right type for the particular bookcase they are for. I have doubts about pretty much everything I’ve ever looked at or purchased at the hardware store because it’s all so foreign to me.

Two of my emptied bookcases shortly before they were moved downstairs.

I miss Greg every day in so many ways.

Process notes: Lately I’ve found myself making sketches with related text that in my mind do not really qualify as comics because I feel they require more writing to be complete. True comics should be able to stand alone without further explanation. To finish the story, I write here on my blog. Other examples are “Shoe Horn” and “Office Chair.”

For the past year, I’ve been working with varying degrees of success to make autobiographical comics mostly from imagination. On top of the supreme challenge of drawing from my head, it has also been a struggle to pare down stories so that they fit into three or four panels.

The fact is, I’m a writer. For four decades, I made my bread and butter with words. To make comics, I am constantly fighting against words that come so naturally to me and that I’m more adept at using than making clumsy drawings.

Eventually I found myself simply enhancing what I sketched with words as you just read in this story about the bookcase braces. I’ve accepted that it’s OK for text to enhance a drawing in the same way that illustrations can enhance writing. I didn’t plan it or think about it much; it just started happening organically. I appreciate and enjoy any creative process that happens organically, so I’m going to go with it.

Related insight: A while back, I had talked about how I initially had the idea to use the autobiographical comics format to tell stories about my caregiving experiences. Although some aspects of such a project appealed to me, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that to do it well, I’d have to keep my head in the painful, difficult past. I decided I didn’t want to keep my head there, even if the end result could be healing.

Interestingly, again in a very organic way, I’ve begun using comics – or these not-quite comics – to talk about learning how to live without Greg. Instead of looking back at the past, I look at the present. I can focus on all that I appreciate about him and all the years we have shared. I can also focus on my own growth as I learn new skills that I didn’t need before.