The Pencil I Never Sent

 

For many years now, I’ve been a member of the Erasable Podcast Community on Facebook, where the main topic of conversation is – you guessed it – pencils. In addition to geeking out about all things pencil, we also do a lot of swapping and some buying/selling. That group is how I acquired some of my vintage collection. I’ve had many ultra-geeky chats with certain members who fly the same colored pencil freak flag as I do.

A highly skilled colored pencil artist and budding urban sketcher, Gary had many of the same pencil interests as I do, not to mention deep knowledge of some esoteric pencil subsectors I had no clue about. We’ve had numerous chats that would make unwitting eavesdroppers’ eyes roll if their heads weren’t already spinning from discontinued color numbers or pencil brand logo changes.

I knew that Gary was seeking the red version of Field Notes Brand’s carpenter pencil. Although the notebook company has periodically offered various versions, the red one has been out of production for years. Gary has surprised me with numerous vintage and contemporary colored pencils and other gifts from the UK over the years (he gave me the King Charles III coronation commemorative Bic 4-Color Pen!). He is well known in the Erasable community for his generosity. I wanted to surprise him with that red carpenter pencil. It took me a while, but I worked out a swap with another member, and I managed to acquire his coveted pencil.

That was more than a year ago. It would have been a simple task to package up the pencil and ship it to him in the UK, but it seemed silly to ship only one pencil across the pond. I kept thinking I’d add a few more things to the package. Meanwhile, I was going through all my downsizing shenanigans and various other distractions, but I kept the red Field Notes pencil on my desktop as a reminder.

A reminder.

Every now and then I’d see the pencil, think of Gary, and tell myself to just put it into the mail. And then I’d ponder what else to put in the box – he’s a vast collector who owns many pencils; what else would he possibly want? – and that would prompt me to procrastinate further.

We had not chatted in a while, and I hadn’t seen his witty comments in the group for a long time. A few days ago, I learned that he had passed away recently after a bout with cancer.

I have no use for the red Field Notes carpenter pencil, and I don’t really want it. But I’m displaying it prominently for a while as a reminder to myself not to procrastinate with intended gifts or other acts that might make someone happy. Meanwhile, if I hear that another Erasable member wants it, I will not hesitate to ship it off immediately. Life keeps trying to teach me this lesson; it’s time to start learning.