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| 11/6/25 (photo reference) |
In the deepest, darkest recesses of the attic were things
Greg had shipped here when he initially moved from the Twin Cities. First in
the basement and then later in the attic (after the attic was built, along with
the second story), the relics from his young adulthood got stored away. Other,
newer stuff piled up in front of them until eventually they were completely
concealed from view. My archaeological excavation that began a few weeks ago
finally unearthed them: Filmmaking equipment in big, heavy cases.
With an art degree in cinematography, he made numerous short films in the ‘70s with a camera that was old even back then: a Swiss-made Bolex H16 Reflex. According to Wikipedia, the model was first produced in 1956.
Hauling the leather case out, I couldn’t believe how heavy it was – more than 11 pounds! How in the world did filmmakers carry and use cameras like that? I started remembering stories he had told about all the equipment that was necessary even for a short film (and a small crew of friends just to haul it all).
The burden I felt then was not just of his history; I also felt the weight of his dream unfulfilled. He had always wanted to continue making films, but all the usual grownup barriers got in the way: The need for income; lack of time, money and space for production; lack of energy once the day job work was done.
I didn’t feel ready to get rid of the camera, but what would I do instead? I certainly didn’t want to leave it in the attic. Display it in the house (and worry about it getting dusty)? Maybe if I sketched it first, I’d feel better?
I took the camera with me on my next visit. He recognized it immediately as he fiddled with the mechanical parts. I asked him to tell me about it, but he doesn’t articulate much anymore. It was enough for me, though, to see him hold and recognize it one last time.
It was the closure I needed. Now I can let it go.
Good move to take it to him just in case. Will be another good move when you find the proper home for it. Still, a bit sad he never got to continue his pursuit of cinematography but I'd bet the majority of people end up doing something other than what they thought they would when they chose their degree. I know I sure did as did my husband. Still ok to dream . . .
ReplyDeleteAmazingly, I already found exactly the right home for all the film equipment! Someone who used the same camera back in the '70s and knew all about it! Greg would have loved to have geek-talked with him about it. I was very happy to give everything to someone who appreciated cinematography and that camera as much as Greg did.
DeleteThe mental picture of Greg recognizing and handling the old camera is so moving to me. He did still pursue his interest and aptitude in visual arts with his photography. If you had brought out the old movie camera years ago, when he retired for example, would he have picked up where he left off? Or did it serve the purpose at the time? At 11 pounds, who would have the strength to use it? Anne HwH
ReplyDeleteBy the time he retired, he was getting into digital videography -- much easier, cheaper, etc. And he did take quite a bit of video on our travels. But he always said film had a very different quality that couldn't be matched by digital. I don't think he had any intention of ever using that camera again. . . but it's hard to get rid of the symbol of the past.
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