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Tuesday, July 28, 2026

Pacha Collective

 

7/23/26 Pacha Collective

I’d been marching through a long list of what I call death management tasks. None were painful, difficult or surprising; all were tedious, time-consuming and sometimes required visits to government offices (Social Security required me to appear in person with our original marriage license). Even processing the death certificate – that most official, undeniable declaration that the love of my life is gone – felt abstract and completely detached from the man I said good-bye to.

Methodically checking off my list the way I used to manage projects at work, I finished in eight days. (Well, two documents still need to be notarized during a brief meeting with our attorney, but my part is done.) I celebrated the way I used to celebrate each task or milestone during my massive downsizing project: A pastry and a sketch, of course!

When I’ve poked my nose into the Green Lake neighborhood’s Pacha Collective on other occasions, the tables were always full. On this comfortable day following our heatwave, I guess people wanted to be outdoors; the café had several open tables. Unfortunately, the one I got wasn’t at a very good angle to sketch the café’s centerpiece: A full-size VW bus, complete with seating and tables inside! I wanted to show more context so that it was clear that the bus was inside the café. I’ll look forward to doing that next time (and someday, I’d like to dine inside the bus, too).

Ironically, the coffee cake I chose came from Macrina Bakery,
where I have given up trying to get a table!
What I did have a good view of were a couple of patrons on the café’s far side. The man in back chose to stand while he worked at his laptop, giving me an unusual composition.

6 comments:

  1. Taking care of those tasks does take time. There is so much to get processed and nothing is quick. I'm glad you had some luck later and were able to find a table inside and a view to sketch. I'm sure it helped relax you a bit.

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    1. I'm pretty good at managing self-care when pastries are concerned! ;-)

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  2. Indeed, so many details to attend to in wrapping up a person's life. I remember systematically going through bills to remove my husband's name from them as in those days, it was always the man who had his name on these things, even on my medical & insurance records. I was lucky to be able to mail in our marriage license to Social Security since the nearest office was 50 or so miles away but it was nerve wracking to send off that original document through the mail. It did get returned safely though, as promised. But all of that removal from the public sphere was upsetting, especially the first one that I did in person. as I watched a clerk running a pen through his name, as if to wipe out the fact that he ever existed, at least legally. Thank goodness there are many ways we keep our loved ones' memory alive, confirm that they really did exist and were important in this world. Warms my heart that you gave yourself your usual reward for a task completed. :-)

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    1. Wiping out the name with a pen line... ouch. I guess I'm fortunate that I didn't have to see that in person. Since writing this post, a couple more things came to my attention: His credit report. I'll probably learn about more things as time goes on.

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  3. I am grateful that you had/have such a wonderful way to remember him thru your sketches, and the memories of the small daily rituals that you shared with him. Much better than the cold, methodical closures of closing official paperwork.

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    1. All the official stuff feels abstract and unrelated to the wonderful times we shared, which makes it much easier to get through.

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