When Torture Turns to Reward

2/10/13 Conte crayon

2/10/13 Conte crayon

The first and only time I took a figure drawing class, it seemed like self-inflicted torture. Drawing the human figure was (still is) one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, and for most of the time I spent in that intensive weekend workshop, I kept saying to myself, “I paid to do this…? Voluntarily? Of my own free will?”

But by the end of the workshop, I had started seeing just enough improvement that the torture turned into its own reward. I actually began to enjoy it.

That was about eight months ago. Since then, I’ve participated in several life drawing open studio sessions at Gage, and today I attended one at Anita Lehmann’s studio. There’s still an element of self-inflicted torture and the moment in every session when I think to myself, “I could leave anytime… no one is holding a gun to my head…” Yet somehow, I stay, and I always eventually get to that point when the torture turns into reward.